FUQ
Frequently Unanswered Questions
Onebignostril.com is a website that exists purely for my amusement. While that is not necessarily exclusive to your own amusement, do not expect it to be. I write the website in my spare time (which means while I’m at work and my boss isn’t looking).
So you can still pick your nose if you have gargantuan fingers like I do.
Read about the author here.
The kind of people you’d cross the street to avoid.
Ostensibly, the site is updated regularly. By “regularly”, I really mean “whenever I get around to it”. So in practical terms, never.
OneBigNostril.com is hosted on a Linux machine buried deep in the cold, cruel, and uncaring heart of an Atlanta datacenter. It is powered by dual Intel Xeon E5-2600 series CPUs and blood sacrifice.
All code and markup is written in Vim and my IDE is Unix. Mainly because I am a curmudgeon hopelessly attached to an obsolete computing environment and fetishize a bygone era when computers could only be operated by a technical elite versed in esoteric minutiae and arcane invocations.
OneBigNostril.com is made using only the highest quality locally-sourced, free-range, sustainably-raised bits and bytes. All pages served are gluten-free and contain no added MSG.
There is no evidence to support the claim that our website causes autism.
Yes. This is why movie stars, fashion models, politicians, and pop singers have such dreadful personality and relationship problems — their souls have been severely depleted by all the photographs which have been taken of them.
Mainly my nearsightedness and my carpal tunnel syndrome. Sigh.
OneBigNostril.com has been diligently edited and rigorously tested. We take pride in the accuracy and integrity of our work, and strive to maintain the highest standards of excellence. All our work undergoes meticulous review before publication. If you believe you’ve found a problem with the site, you can contact us here and your comments will be forwarded to our chimpanzee focus groups.